August 6, 2010
Kindergarten is Killing Me
Next week I will send yet another child into the dungeon of chalkboard dust and sweaty after recess smell…and I’m kinda’ freaking out, just between you and I.
I know the drill, cook a big breakfast, dress the kids in their new stuff, pack new backpacks full of promise…I’ve done this, done it twice. I’ve watched my “babies” march into the school that suddenly becomes the size of the Biltmore mansion.
But…this is my little boy…this is the little boy that had to wait a few minutes to be pushed into the world because I kicked the stirrup off the delivery table. This is the little boy who I named after his grandpa because I hoped he’d have his grandpa’s courage and determination, I may have messed up there but…stubborn can be a good thing, right?
This is the little boy I rocked to sleep and read the Corinthians love chapter to…this is the little boy who would only fall asleep with a handful of my hair clutched in his hand.
I watched him transition from diapers to Batman undies, go from Dora to Marvel comic super heroes. I cried when he left the church nursery for “big kid” church. I freak out when he goes to his dad’s house for visits because obviously no one can love him or care for him like I do.
The thought that he might grow up and get married someday? No, not having it…another woman taking care of my baby boy? I don’t think so. Sigh…if only.
So, sending him to Mrs. Staffey is scary…even though she rocked the heck out of Emma’s first year, Emma isn’t Duncan…Emma doesn’t bring me frogs as “presents” and offer dirt covered kisses at the end of the day. There is something so indescribably special about the bond between a mother and son.
I know I’ll make it and I’ll be excited to go to class parties, field trips, see him learn to read and write…but I will also be praying that the world doesn’t change him too much, doesn’t wipe away the wide blue eyed innocence that is my little boy.
To the rest of you with kiddos going back to school…wishing us all a year of loving and learning!
